No Longer Contagious by born-master-poet, literature
Literature
No Longer Contagious
You were once the girl in my autos class. A couple years later, you asked me to be your man. A time stood still for when I came back to be with you. When you left for basic training I was so scared. Would I be one to receive a Dear John letter? I should've known I wouldn't be amount the list. You wrote me every chance you had. Always reminding of how much you loved me. I counted the days till you got to come home. Your last letter came and told me to dress up for your arrival, I did not knowing what to expect but I was excited. Standing there with your family waiting felt like forever. When I saw you my heart soared, lifting me to cloud nine. You turned me around and you told me when I could face you again. When I did, I started to cry because you were on one knee. All I could was nod until you asked me if that was a yes. I said yes through tears of pure joy and kissed you so passionately. Less than a year later we were married and I was extatic. Filled with love, pure joy, and endless happiness, I thought this was it, we found each other young. Looking forward to the rest of our lives together, Things weren't perfect, I was way less than perfect. Though I always held hope we would figure it out. We added a beautiful dog to our little family a few months later. Life was good and I just knew that this was it. You and our pup was where I was supposed to be. Oh how I was wrong, so blinded by the rose colored glasses. I didn't see you pulling away from me. You left for the weekend for a friend's graduation party. Kissed me in the parking lot of my work. "I'll see you in a few days." You said to me. If I would've know that was our last kiss, I would've let it linger longer, holding you closer. You stopped messaging me that weekend. Didn't come home when you said you would. My attempts to reach you were all ignored, Until the day you sent me a text it was over. I practically begged your friend to bring me to you. He did and looking back you were right I never should've done that. I was completely and utterly crushed and lost. It's been years now since we married and you left me. Three more years and it will be a decade. Through that time I always had a reminder of you. The dog we got together, I kept because he chose me. Constantly thinking of you and trying my hardest to move on, Trying my hardest not think, talk, write, or dream of you. It's been a decade since you were the girl in my autos class. Seven years since I called you my wife. Four years since our divorce was finally done. I have not shown it in a long time but it still hurts. A fairytale start just to become a statistic in less than a year. I'm glad you're happy and living your best life. I still love you and always wish you nothing but happiness. My happiness hasn't been contagious since you. I still smile once in awhile, It's always fleeting and more often a facade.
I hear the voices in my head. The people 'just wanting what is best for me'. So loud, screaming their intentions. They over power what I really want said. Telling me with overpowering exactitude what to be. Leaving me living their made up situations. I will not stand for it anymore! I have my own voice that needs to be heard. I am going to be the one to tell my story. This is me running through the open door. This is me courageously undeterred. This is ME rewriting my name in history.
I've always been a human heater.
Extruding good vibes and happiness.
Within, it's a whole different story.
Ice cold tundras rule my heart and soul.
Pain is all I have know my whole life.
It lulls me to sleep at night,
Shows me the dark side of everything,
Staying alive in pain is numbing.
I don't care anymore about anything.
I have already given up on who I am,
Who I was supposed to be,
Who I could have been,
Who you knew first.
Just a shell of my former self.
A hollow representation of the past self.
My heart no longer breaks,
Smiles are a fleeting memory,
The light does not stick around long,
My laughter is weak and strained.
The only thing
I walk a lonely, twisted path,
Surrounded by my own thoughts.
The dark, evil musings they are.
They take over sometimes,
Scares the people who love me.
I didn't realize I was hurting them,
I only wanted to hurt myself.
End all of my suffering,
Not be the cause of theirs.
I don't want to feel the pain anymore.
I don't want to feel the heart break.
I don't want to feel the emptiness.
I don't want to feel the darkness.
It calls my name so sweetly.
Listening to its promises of nothing.
No pain, heart break, emptiness, darkness.
It sounds so peaceful,so quiet.
I think I'll see you there soon.
Pain is a friend of mine by born-master-poet, literature
Literature
Pain is a friend of mine
'He greeted death like an old friend'.
Is a saying I've heard a lot in life.
I've known so much heart wrenching pain,
I've been asked so much how I'm still here.
I don't show them my scar on my arm.
I tell them my family and friends never gave up.
Even if I felt like no one was in my corner.
They were always there silently cheering me on.
It's not easy to see, harder to tell yourself,
When you are so stuck in your head.
Looking back at everything, I would never change it.
You may not understand that but someday you will.
When I think of your smile,
And the way you look at me.
I get butterflies in my tummy,
That makes my face light up the night.
Takes me back to 2012.
When I first saw you there.
I lost my heart back then
To the girl with the Bleach bag.
Flash forward a few years to 2015,
We decided to give it a shoot.
It didn't last long due to our insecurities.
Even still I kept remembering when,
I met you at Valley Fair in 2012.
I was too shy to say hi.
The day was almost over
When you got in front of me in line.
Flash forward again to 2017,
We had our amazing week.
So many smiles and kisses shared.
My heart and soul were soaring.
Thinking of that day
New years eve 2017.
I went out side for a smoke.
It's a full moon.
It's so bright outside.
I looked up at the moon
And the stars around it.
Orin was right. There.
I remember when
I was shown Orin.
Over time I showed people.
I wonder if they showed people.
Orin has dimmed over years.
He's given me so much joy.
And yet I wondered,
How many don't know him.
Don't realize what they are seeing.
Then everything stopped.
The wind
The sound
The cold
Time
Me
A single thought in a second.
That's everyone.
That's you.
That's me.
That's the guy sitting next you.
That's the guy asking spare change.
Once bright but dull over time.
How many stars fade ou
I hear the voices in my head. The people 'just wanting what is best for me'. So loud, screaming their intentions. They over power what I really want said. Telling me with overpowering exactitude what to be. Leaving me living their made up situations. I will not stand for it anymore! I have my own voice that needs to be heard. I am going to be the one to tell my story. This is me running through the open door. This is me courageously undeterred. This is ME rewriting my name in history.
These tears have a story
Three years of history.
Starting in high school
And it makes me a fool.
I know I was an ass,
Too long we let it pass.
Though it takes two to tango,
We were doomed from the get go?
I'd like to hope not.
Our love wasn't sought,
We started so young and strong,
Still young were we wrong?
I've always loved you,
I know you love me too.
If it takes the rest of my life
I'll do what ever it takes to keep my wife.
I'm stuck on cloud nine.
Songs fill my heart
Soaring high I don't want to land
Hoping I'll find someone up here.
Flying on the same level.
With a song in their heart
And love in their soul.
With adventure in their eyes
I'm longing for the enteral spark.
One day we will find each other
It will be oh so easy
When two souls become whole.
Written a long time ago, this book,
Canceled thoughts and a forged look.
How am I doing? You ask me slowly.
While I look away and lie blindly.
To and from pain I go losing my pride.
All too much just to stay by your side.
Faithful til my very last breath.
A sword through my heart with stealth.
Crying alone in darkness because of you.
Breaking my heart is just what you do.
Scarring my heart is all you ever know.
I loved you more then I'll ever show.
One little phrase and I'll come running.
Repeating this cycle, isn't it stunning?
What's up guys? My name is Max. I love to write though I don't think I'm very good. I also enjoy doing some art. I'm alright with art. My passion is sports though I haven't played in a while it hurts inside kinda depresses actually. I'm 23 and I'm getting along with my life. Also spread my name around and my work please.
Favourite style of art: Abstract Favourite cartoon character: Bugs Bunny Personal Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
Favourite Visual Artist
Salvador Dali
Favourite Movies
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimaroon
Favourite Writers
Shakespeare, Wiliam Blake, Emily Dickinson, Edgar Ellan Poe, and Amelia Atwater-Rhodes.
Favourite Games
The Game
Other Interests
Sports, writing, abstract art, music, reading, meeting new friends.
Today is four months with my current girlfriend. She is amazing. She isn't like the other girls I have dated. I love sleeping next to her. Just knowing she is next to me. People don't think its a good relationship because she was my ex wife's best friend a long time ago. After my ex wife and I split we started talking again. I say again because she made us stop talking while we were together and in highschool. I'm really starting to fall for her. She's just amazing and she's going to school to be a grade school teacher and she is great with kids and wants them. Oh my gosh. I'm so happy.
I know I've been gone for awhile but I'm back. My fiance and I had a fun start to our relationship by moving around a lot and we are finally settled for now. That being said I have free time to write again and I have slowly been getting my inspiration back which is amazing. I hope you'll like my new stuff and hopefully I write a lot more in 2015 than I did in 2014. That was just a weak year man.